Alavida/ Vidāy/ Dasvidaniya

There're millions things i wanna say,
Million more i want u to believe..
But here i'm standing at the door,
Trying to recall time spent with u..
A brief moment of silence,
That speaks for itself..
Just wanna say a goodbye,
Indeed a promise to meet again..
Just take a pause for a while,
To cherish good time we spent together..
Here onwards exist infinite possibilities,
All i Want u to be happy & prosper in every single one of them..
Don't change, just grow into something better, until our path cross each other..
Meanwhile i'll try to find accord with the fact,
that a new chapter of our lives is written with us being separated..
Please take good care of your..

In another world

Part - 2 : no expiration

And then they decided to live happily ever after.. do u care to know what happened after that ? Some ppl find more Happiness, some learns to compromise and rest of them split up.. so does everything remains same forever ? Answer is simply no.. or in layman terms everything do have expiration.. why does things get expire ??

We often response to thing based on our emotional intelligence.. so what is emotional intelligence and can it help in finding peace ?? Our emotional intelligence is the result of our surroundings and past experiences .. most of us response to situations without giving it a thought.. wouldn't it better if we understand situation in the first place and then behave in betterment of our emotional intelligence.. human lyf is all abt getting to know urself better but most of us are not familiar with it.. we blame others for everything wrong and have lot of disagreement as a matter of fact.. does it mean we need to get angry or need to work on our emotional intelligence.. emotional intelligence gives better purview and could result in healing the system.. we all are broken frm the beginning becoz of many factors but it doesn't mean we can't work upon emotional intelligence..

Imagine a world where everyone lives in harmony coz they hav better way of coping with negative emotions.. world where everything comes with lyf tym warranty.. this may seems impossible only becoz ur not ready to work upon emotional intelligence.. we all have that potential to attain certain amount of intelligence..

I don't say any emotion is negative emotion its just the matter of outlook and how we deal with with.. so responding wisely may hav a gr8 impact on our lyfstyle.. and some day we may hav lyftym warranty to everything.. we all know what's the problem but its tym to act on it !!

In another world

Part -1 : Happiness

We r surrounded with lots of negativity, infact we r born with ability to feel sad, anger, stress, hatred etc. In the process of growing we adapt ourselves and happiness becomes just one another emotion to us. Some ppl dedicate their life to serve other and find peace with that, while other keep exploring and want to live freely. But are they all just happy all the tym ? In this world we r bound to live by some set of rule and have no freedom to bend them.. i hardly find any person who can say that they are living upto their full potential.. i do not claim any secret mantra for happiness or put an argument to system but wanna u to imagine a world that knows only happiness..

Crying is the first thing that babies do when they are born to activate their respiratory system.. but why do we cry at all in later part of our lyf ?? Tears produced in response to that strong emotion you may experience from stress, pleasure, anger, sadness and suffering to indeed, physical pain. Crying negates all negative emotion, infact we want to be happy but then what causes negativity and how can we avoid that ?? The main reason for negativity is limiting beliefs.. imagine a world where everyone can see thru others prospective to have proper or i say correct beliefs..

Now imagine only gud news in the newspaper, only happy emoticons, & only happy faces around you.. now we dont have to luk beyond imperfections coz happy mind leads to a perfect system.. a happy system maynot be perfect according to you but finding solutions with a happy mind is better than finding solutions with heavy mind.. think of happy discussion over a stupid argument..

We as human beings can't be happy all the tym or else ppl will consider u freak.. but can we atleast find harmony in accordance with this world and to be happy a little bit more.. a change will come along..

Second Chance

Everyone i meet these days,
seems to be different versions i wanna be..
Insatiable Desires & my present are constant reminder of how big a looser i am..
Is this a spurious construct, an ephemeral guilt trip or an attempt to attain truce ?
So i wanna tell u,
i have confidence to do,
but no confidence to be..
I wish i could go back in time,
to get full confidence in me..

Because time that has already passed can only be replenished by time that flees..
Stumbling in dilemma , knocking doors, looking for one that will set me free..
All i need is a chance, second chance, a final chance..
To acquire trust, to keep promises and to make a difference..
I wish i could explain,
This time i wont let go in vain,
the opportunity i seek can bring a change..
To exemplify things & to modify believes,
U need to endorse in what i conceive..
Everyone deserve it but no one gets it,
A chance to end exhaustive misery..

Loop

You're stuck in a loop..
Loop that has no beginning..
End it.. Try to break..
Break it or stuck in it..

(While coming out of loop u need to look for various possibility)

you're struggling with destiny..
Destiny that is predefined..
Redefine it, system can be changed..
Change it or struggle with it..

(While struggling with fate don't forget that u were in it because of your choices)

you're dealing with a demon..
Demon that is undefeated..
Defeat it.. Take a fight..
Fight it or deal with it..

(While dealing with ur problems dont loose tym on trivialities of lyf)

you're loosing crucial time..
Time that is elapsing..
Seize it.. Time can be bent..
Bend it or keep loosing it..

(While facing it all u always fall into another loop)

The right thing / closure/ inner calling

Dedicated to everyone who are going thru rough patch. This post is the composite of 3 different story.. Hope something good come out of it.
Story 1 :
Part 1 : Anger / forgiveness ( his side of the story)

U have seen me at lowest point of my lyf.. Even sometimes when i cried.. Fighting with an incurable disease for most of my lyf, one thing that i have gained is patience.. People come and go but only few make u feel connected .. Ur opinion matters to me a lot so i couldn't imagine a world without u.. I use to believe we have strong tuning and nothing can further go wrong if my family and friends stood by my side..

Day u stopped talking to me, my world was shaken apart.. Coz all i was asking for is closure but u were not ready to talk.. I felt anguish followed by anger.. Never felt such angry from a long tym but even that phase passed away quickly.. I presumed that u may have ur reason for not talking to me so i gave u space.. Some dayz were gud and some other dayz i just wanted to talk to u..

It was Diwali eve and i called at ur home.. All i wanted was to hear from u.. I was ready to forget and forgive.. No explanation needed.. From that day onward our friendship has grown stronger then ever.. One thing i realized with tym is that, "when life throws lemons at u, u make lemonade and drink it"..  

Part 2 : Teenage mind (explanation by me after long tym)

Intricacies of teenage mind is very hard to understand.. Coz every thought we weave is the result of many different threads and selecting those threads was very complicated for me.. Things we feel are the outcome of millions of butterfly effect.. I'm not saying that we don't have control over our emotion but every action may not have proper justification.. How could u describe pain and agony.. Or how can justify feeling of loathing over sympathy.. We learn, we evolve.. We r not defined by just one single moment, rather we r defined our willingness to evolve into something better..

U think banishing people without giving them any explanation bares them from pain or complexity of any sort then ur absolutely wrong.. Decision to left someone hurting is harsh and immature.. Leaving you with millions of question made me realize that old me owes u some answers.. What a teenage mind thought that suffering makes u stronger but i forgot u were already suffering a lot.. I was no use to see u in that condition.. And i guess that made me angry.. Somewhere at some-point i felt i will loose you and that thought swayed me..

Every decision i took had immense effect on u but it affected me as well.. I thought i was doing the right thing but in time i have realized mistake of leaving u.. Maybe i have gained sense to see people more than their pity.. Also time heals everything so thanks for showing patience with me.. 

Story 2

Part 1: Hope (her side of story)

I abused ,i cried..
Did everything to make it alright..
Hopeless and relentless..
When I knocked million tyms..
Things went south..
Every tym i tried..
In order to please u..
Climbed every height..
Tell me o tell me..
Treason or a crime ?
What r u going thru..
Is it a mistake of mine..
What have i done ..
To hurt u so bad..
Ignoring , no talking..
Why r u mad ?
Where's that stranger ?
Who stood by my side..
Use to notice when i was sad..
Spending tym together..
The bond that i had..
Thinking about it makes me sad..
Pleased u and appeased u..
Now I'm giving u space..
Still Dying to talk..
But rejecting with grace..
Living a lyf..
World without you..
Ppl feel pity..
Not because of you..
U were, u are dear to me..
Alive in my memory..
Close to my heart..
U r pierced in me ..  

Part 2 : Maturity / Promise (grown into a better person)

Looking thru the window seeking escape..
I didn't know i was making a grave mistake..

Dealing with my demons, knowingly hurt u..
Brought a gr8 sorrow, had no courage to face u..

Digging an abyss, was looking for some space..
Deeper and darker, now even harder to escape..

Its not your fault, saying sorry wont do fixing..
My ego was growing , i was feeding on sobbing..

Dying to hear from u, cried when i use to be alone..
Cherished all d memories, missed u when u were gone..

Ur hope was power, brought positive impact on me..
Patience that u shown, has grown upon me..

One thing i realized time heals every injury..
Changed into better self, even you've lost fury..

An inner calling, promise to repeat never...
Our bond has grown stronger than ever..

Story 3 :

Part 1: influence ( thats what he felt)

He came into my lyf like a zephyr.. But set everything in motion.. Unbalanced & unfamiliar.. now i was drifting along with it.. Lost in the moments, building up something,  i forgot that i was the one fragile in it.. 

Maybe I was afraid of what i'll become..  It took only a moment to decide, when things went south.. Maybe i was worried only abt influence of ur.. Trying to become better, i made some choices that world will never understand.. Ignored the consequences and settled down.. 

I know i am throwing away time we spent together.. I never imagined blaming someone for what i felt will haunt me back.. Was it a wrong call ?? Am i wrong ?? Am i being selfish ?? Question i ask myself repeatedly.. Stopped listening to ppl long tym back.. Trying to move on.. 

Imagine a tiny force trying to push against strong one..  Maybe i gaveup on u too soon.. Maybe blaming it on u was one to deal with it.. Dealing with pressure of lyf and my own demons, there was no place for drama.. I chose simple, i chose me.. 

I can live with the fact that u r not part of my lyf anymore.. But i can't see u manipulating ur way back.. I have made my peace.. maybe when i'll grow strong someday and then i'll amend what i cant fix right now.. 

P.S. : dont wait for me & dont wanna talk abt it..

Part 2 : love / characterization ( his voice my words )

People dont like what they dont feel... And i feel why they dont like.. Opinion vary from person to person.. But things that connect us all is the feeling Of being left alone.. 

We live, we laugh, we fight, we talk, we evolve.. Thats how our bond grow stronger.. smtimes we underestimate the complexity of mind.. So dont let any thoughts & feeling unexpressed coz it could be the reason for blocking other person.. thing starts to go wrong when there is no talking becoz of self esteem or disgust for other person.. But if we lower our ego and make room for love in our life, we can find the silver lining.. 

Mistakes happens but its we who acknowledge them.. Ones mistake could be a crime for others.. I know somethings cannot be taken aback.. But there is gr8 power in guilt .. It could ruin sometimes and other tyms it could help in transformation.. 

I have seen ppl change.. And its our responsibility to help them in transition rather let them cross that line over and over.. I believe positive attitude and affection can bring mountains down.. 

Some ppl remains exclusive, some ppl makes many friends & some just change with tym.. Ppl don't take sides, and its not manipulation that leads to getting ppl attention.. Its even more tormenting for others to see u this way..

I know concept of fault in our stars or not having anything in common.. But things that bind us is the willingness to be Spark for that someone.. 

A proper apology require 3 steps..

1)Admission of wrong doing..

2)A promise never to repeat that action..

3)An earnest request for forgiveness..

-The Big Bang Theory

He has done everything to deserve ur forgiveness.. Beside all he still wishes to talk to u.. Life is short and we meet only few ppl who likes us unconditionally.. Its suffocating sometimes to be loved all the time but when hard tym hits only ppl like him stays ..

Let him slide..

Let him crawl..

He will rise above it all..

Give him time..

Give him spark..

He will stay for when its dark..

Loyal as family..

Close to ur heart..

Always and forever just like an art.. 

P.S. : i know when i see ppl testing ppl

Box of shame / guilt

Living inside it, filling the void, emptiness that eating u alive..
Consumed by secrets, willing to hide, for desires and pleasures that always thrive..

Crushing under it, lifting up high, burdened with a box of lies..
Frightened of loosing, stakes so high, worried about the bond that ties ..

Hiding beneath it,  feeling of strain, its the mask u wore giving u pain..
Gone thru a lot, now acting strange, its a lonely heart being derange..

Coming out of  it, pushing it hard, thrown into psychiatric ward..
Suppressed by people, quitting is hard, holding on to unknown identity card..

Talking about it, bringing a change, sharing the secret reducing strain..
Endorsed by loved ones, fighting the pain, this moment on i opt to refrain.. 

Fresh start

Prologue : This post is dedicated to anyone who is struggling with darkness.. Darkness prevails in many form.. Hope you can find the way out of it..  No matter how bad is situation try to find the glimmer of light and be the shining Armour for others ..


Crawling inside me , feeding on fear ..
The darkness is spreading..
Reaching for the core, preying all insecurities..
A Force is controlling..
Corrupting every system, building a host..
A virtuous is weakling..
Changing who i am , ruining what i had..
An Identity is blurring..

Running every direction, having no aim..
A helpless is stumbling..
Raveling with questions, loosing all hope..
An upset is searching..
Feeling of guilty, knowing who i was..
An unknown is struggling..
Seeking for support, asking no one..
A thought is crushing..

Hiding from the world, facing all alone..
A broken is disconnecting..
Accepting the truth, keeping a secret..
A dejected is crying..
Tiring as it is, tending to be end it all..
A soul is darkening..
Moving on the edge, trying to extinct..
A life is ending..

Looking in the mirror, filling with regret..
A being is thinking..
Shining of the sun, lighting every corner..
A reflection is brightening..
Fighting with oneself, combating all negatives..
A patient is recovering..
Wining over other side, killing the evil..
A new dawn beginning.. 

Ehsas

Kyu kuch aaise hota hai, aur sab kuch kaise hota hai.

Kyu koi kal ko leke rota hai, aur kal fir koi roya tha..

Mai jaga jaga rehta hu, ya kal kuch jayada soya tha...

Jo kal mai nahi keh saka, vo aaj batana chahta hu..

Un choti moti yadoon se, kuch pal bitana chahta hu..

In raton se muskan bani, jo kal kahi thi kho gyi..

Kyu hota hai ye kyu hota hai vo, is bat par ek rat gyi..

Subah hui suhani, ek kagaz utha kar laya hu..

Mai fir un panno ko, awaz banana chahta hu..

pal gya vo sama gya, ab yad sabhi ko karta hu

bhuli hui yaadon se, ehsas jagana chata hu..

man ek uljhan, hoton par ek sawal hai..

yaadon mai zinda ho, fir bhi dil behal hai..

kal ko leke  soch chuka, aaj mera pareshan hai..

jo aaj mera haal  hai, kya vo tera bhi haal hai..

ek sawalo ka dariya hai, pag pag chalta jata hai..

smay ke is khel ko, jawabo se dhakte jana hai..

Amazing thoughts

Do not lose time on daily trivialities. Do not dwell on petty detail. For all these things melt away and drift apart within the obscure traffic of time. Live well and live broadly. You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all the dead. - World of Tomorrow.


“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

― Lao Tzu

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect..
It means u have decided to look beyond imperfections..

- unknown

Khoyi muskaan

Kal fir mujhe teri yaad aayi, yaad aayi saath apne soonapan laayi. Kitne dur ho gye is baat ka ehsaas layi.
Fir ek ehsaas hua , akelepan se man udaas hua.Kya vichitra duvida mai fasa diya ,jo tujhse mai dur hua.
Fir ek khyaal aaya, apne sang swaal laya .. Kahan gaya vo lamha, jo mere liye sirf  muskaan laya.
Fir is baare mai kafi soch vichara, socha bahut par koi hal nahi nazar aaya.. Kya kisi aur ko bhi ye khayal aaya.
Fir man mai uljhan laagi, tujhse baat karne ki iksha jaagi.. Baat hui par uttar na milne par fir mayusi chaai.
Fir gya bhagwan ke pass , leke man mai ek he aas .. Kyu banaya sansar jab nahi reh paya koi ek dusre ke pass.
Fir mila jwaab kuch aaisa ki, jo saath mai hai uski kadar nahi.Kyu kal ko leke rota hai , jab aaj se tujhe santosh nahi.
Fir kiya apne aap se vada , na thoda kam na bahut jyada.Kyuki kahin nahi hai  khusi is lamhe se jyada.
Fir man mai ek leher jaagi, chehre par fir muskaan aayi.. Kise pta tha is lamhe ki keemat, dekho ye subah kitna umang laayi..